Sorry, my friend.

Sometimes I regret saying certain things or doing certain things.

I blurted some hurtful words and did something very unpleasant and untruthfully to a dear old friend of mine, and now we are not in good terms any more. Worse still, it happened a few weeks before we went on our separate ways, and now, I don't see her any more.

During the times when I thought of her, I asked myself, what have I done? Why can't I hold back at that time? Why can't I be more careful of my words at that time? Why can't I lift myself from all the evil and horrible feelings that I have on her at that time?

I lost her as a friend. It is my fault. I wanted to fix the problem but I am so scared to even sms her. I did once to ask how is she, and she also replied back, but then, I lost the courage to talk to her and I did not reply back.

The scene kept playing in my mind, making me sadder by the day. Deep down in my heart, I know, jealousy is the main culprit. I am jealous of her for having things that I wanted to have but I couldn't have. The things, are not in material form. It is something more delicate, closer to the heart. Something that I always wanted. Now, I realized how foolish I am to try to force things my way.

I hope, one day, this pain in my heart can be dispelled. But yet, a year has passed, and the pain have only been more painful than ever. I will always miss the days when we chatted happily in the car or shared silly jokes in the cafeteria. Deep down, I know she has let go and has moved on and as forgotten me as a friend, I don't hate her for that because it is myself that I couldn't forgive.

The only thing I can do now is to make sure I don't make the same mistake again and lose a friend again.

Raining?

oh no, i don't even have a single blog updated this month... this suck..i wonder what bad impression i have set on my lecturer.......

okay, first thing first, i have not forgotten that i have to write a paragraph of figurative words about raining. But... I am at a lost of words... writing a paragraph about raining alone is exhausting enough, what more to write it in a to-confuse-readers-and-let-readers-peel-off-the-layer-and-meaning-behind manner.

Here it goes :

When the God lost his beloved wife, the God cried, pouring out all his sorrow upon the creatures under his feet, the creatures, helpless, bathed in the God's tears, wondered why was their mighty God so sad. The God's helpers sent bright signals to the creatures to inform them about the sad news and to lighten the sky, hoping to cheer up the devastated God. Soaked wet, the creatures beneath mourn for the God's loss, yet wonder when will the sorrow ends, because the over-flowing water were choking the drains and rivers, and gradually engulfing the land. Worried and angry, the creatures shouted upon to the God, but to no avail, all they can do were to pray and pray and pray.

End.

I don't know why, but I wanted to write about the unseen controller of the weather, hence I used God as a main character that caused rain in a form of sadness. Then, I wanted to represent lightning as something planned and done for a purpose and as something good as well. For the creatures, that is us, I wanted them to be helpless. I wonder what will Mr D think about this paragraph...